Dad. You're the only person I know who listens to frevo before...
during and after carnival.
Give me that!
How did the test go?
When you say not bad, it means it went great.
It's finished.
It's finished, dad.
If I pass the Residency exam I'll be seeing patients and studying...
at the hospital. And getting paid.
Atoast to Doctor Veronica.
And to Doctor Veronica's dad.
My daughter!
I've been waiting forthis day for so long.
Me too, dad. Lots.
If I died today, I'd die happy.
Knowing I leave you with a profession.
Are you going to start with the melodrama, José Maria?
Come on, let's dance. Come.
No. You know I don't like or even know howto dance.
- Let's dance the frevo, dad! - No!
What a grumpy old man I have. I'm going to make the lunch.
That's a good idea...
Dear recorder.
After six years of daily contact...
with you helping me record all the maladies of the human being...
you are nowfree of me and I of you.
I'm going to celebrate this day with a song...
as the last register of my voice.
Those who miss someone Are never alone.
Cause their affection Keeps them company.
So when I'm most alone
I have you with me in my heart.
A smile, a hug, a flower.
It's all you in my imagination.
Serpentine or confetti Carnival of love.
It's all you in my heart.
You exist as an angel of goodness.
And accompany me In this nostalgic frevo.
Are there any doctors in yourfamily?
No, my father is retired. He used to be a bank employee.
Adilson, Dr. Veronica, new resident psychiatrist.
- Good morning! Hi! - Good morning!
Mrs. Carmem, your secretary.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, Mrs. Carmem.
- If you need anything, just ask. - Sure.
And this is your room.
Remember, first you see the patient, then discuss the diagnosis with me.
Right.
- Good luck. - Thanks.
Dr. Veronica, can I send in the first patient?
Not yet, Mrs. Carmen, I want to get organized first.
Good morning, I'm Dr. Veronica, and I'll be attending you today.
So what have you been feeling?
Feeling? Headache...
a cold. Some days I get a cold.
And...
Anything else, Carlos?
I take a lot of medicine.
- What kind of medicine do you take? - Pumpkin color, yellow...
pink...
red.
- Until what grade did you study? - I never studied, doctor.
No.
So what have you been feeling?
I feel pain all over. My head is in agony.
Here in my chest I feel this anguish. Agony all the while, doctor.
I don't eat, don't drink water, don't go out into the street...
It's the heat, doctor. It's such a burning heat I feel.
I'm a bit mad, doctor.
I want tojust take off my clothes...
and go out like that, naked.
Because I don't even know whether I'm naked or dressed.
And where does this heat start, Maria?
It starts all over. It comes from my feet and runs up my back.
Whereverthere is space, it's there.
I get this urge to pull my hair out. I don't know what to do, doctor.
Do something for me, forthe love of God, Doctor.
I am going to prescribe a medication...
foryou to calm down.
- And could you please get dressed? - Yes, ma'am.
How's it going?
I was appalled. They're separating.
My God, time flies. You're all fully-fledged doctors...
and I've still got two more years of university.
Ciça, that's not the worst of it. Everyone in our group is married.
Medicine students are so square-minded!
I thought I'd get married during the course too. At least, nearthe end.
How come? In Recife? There is nobody to meet here.
I've tried men, and women as well.
- Let's change the subject? - Let's.
Let's talk about something more cheerful.
- Go on. - Let's talk about men?
Let's talk about women?
I gave the suggestion first. Then let's talk about men.
- All right. - Let me tell you.
Do you remember Fernandinho?
- Thejournalist... - The ugly one?
So when you are starving...
Bang, you masturbate, you play with it...
and your hunger goes away. Itjust disappears and leaves no traces.
Now I know why I am so thin!
Not like that...
I love you.
I can't stand living without you.
I think I found my soul mate.
I can't stop thinking about you.
I'd better leave.
What's up?
You really want to know?
Sure.
I'm thinking that you are by my side, but I'm not by yours.
Wow!
Can't you stop thinking forjust one minute?
No, I can't.
Clinical report on the patient studied today.
Patient: Veronica.
Had some great sex last night...
or at least she thinks she did...
but she didn't make... love.
It's a tricky case, this one.
The patient in question does not tend toward romance...
only sex.
White, white...
white.
Everything turning white around me.
I, Veronica...
growing old with my father.
Come on, Veronica. Say something.
Say something to comfort this woman.
He's been like this fortwo days now, doctor. Just like this. Blank.
He won't speak.
It was a struggle to get the boy here today.
Jailton, what do you like doing?
It's 10 hours and seven minutes.
Radio Jornal, from Pernambuco to rest of the world.
Fried chicken.
- Are you a doctor? - Yes, I am.
I've got a terrible headache.
Go to the City Centre Hospital, where I work.
I can examine you there. Dr. Veronica is my name.
How much do I owe you?
Come on, guys! Your arms up here!
A back kick! That's right!
There you go!
- Anybody already tired? - No!
Great.
Spin around! Spin around!
Shoulders. Shoulders.
Move your arms. Come on, come on.
Arriba!
Abajo!
Arriba! Abajo!
Para delante!
Hi.
- Hi, Ciça. - What's up?
Let's go for a dive.
You know I don't like the ocean. Forget it.
Crabs! Fresh crabs!
Such liveliness?
What's wrong? Are you feeling something?
Yeah.
The weight of age!
- Do you want to call Dr. Francisco? - No, you're my doctor.
- Go get some rest, dad. - Look afterthose three.
I will, go on.
João, it's time.
Mário?
- You dribbled on the table, Mário. - Sorry.
Hi, Gustavo, how is it going?
Just called to say hello.
You won't imagine what happened here today.
My father was sick.
No, I don't want you to come over.
No, I met someone at the beach and he's here now.
I didn't call to tell you that. No...
I just called because I was missing you, that's it.
Oh, Gustavo...
All right. Kisses.
Small chance of finding a slot at this time of day.
Been here since early this morning, and no appointment scheduled!
I've been coming here fortwo weeks.
Two weeks, and you didn't schedule a normal appointment?
- Are you saying I'm not normal? - No, I'm not saying that.
Doctor, she doesn't want to mark me down.
Sort this out, please.
Wait a while, and she'll try to fit you in, okay?
- She said you have to fit me in. - She didn't tell me to fit anyone in.
Are you deaf?
Calm down, sir.
You're not going to squeeze me in? Should I break anything else?
Should l? Should I break it?
- This is a hospital. - I want a doctor and my medication!
- Let go, I want my medication. - Just a second.
Let me go!
Let go of me!
- Tell me what's your name. - Let me go!
- Calm down. Calm down.
Let me go, whore!
Let me go! Let me go!
He spat on the doctor.
As I wrote on his chart, the last time I talked to the patient...
- he did not present any... - Dr. Veronica...
you don't talk to patients.
You examine them.
Well, as I was trying to explain, at that session l...
examined the patient and...
he did not present any type of impulsiveness...
or lack of control that might put his or anyone else's life at risk.
Leave the patient's chart with us.
We'll look at it.
You can go, doctor.
I, patient Veronica...
uncertain about life, like everybody else.
I, patient Veronica...
scared about the future, like everybody else.
I, Veronica...
in a crisis.
This is the 3rd time I've complained about the leak in the bathroom.
What am I supposed to do now? Call the police?
Look, if you don't solve the problem, I'll sort things out my way.
I'll straight up sue the building administrator.
I can't stand this administrator.
I'll handle it, dad.
Living in a flat it is safer...
but dealing with this administrator is such a burden.
Problems?
The other day I saw a patient with Catatonic Schizophrenia.
It's as if the person were paralyzed, doing nothing, saying nothing...
a mummy.
t'sawful.
It's not books and teachers anymore...
it's real people sitting in front of me every day.
Sometimes it feels like I'm just rubber-stamping sick notes...
giving medical leave and writing prescriptions.
And then there are the chronic cases, whichjust get worse.
And there's not much you can do.
Doctor, I'm going to give you a prescription.
Go out and let your hair down.
Why don't you go out tonight?
I'd better not, dad.
I have to sort this out. I have reports to do.
I don't ever want another day like the one I had at the hospital today.
No more responsibility.
Relax, everything will be fine.
I hearthat since the start of the course, and it keeps getting worse.
Let's make a toast?
Atoast to Ciça's trip, a toast to Maria's trip and to my crisis.
It's all standardized.
In our hearts.
Our way of loving.
Doesn't seem to be ours at all.
It's all standardized.
Rage aims at me.
Aims, but misses me.
But my aim was confused.
Forever moving love To a new address.
Cold.
Rage doesn't take aim.
Doesn't aim But I hit you in the chest.
Whenever love changes address.
Rage aims me.
Dear Recorder...
the good thing about being in a crisis...
is that when I get like this...
my libido goes through the roof.
I vent everything through sex.
It's all standardized.
What's a kiss? Osculation...
contact with another's lips...
that results in a low smacking sound caused by suction.
French-kissing is not kissing.
It's sex.
There's nothing better than kissing.
Desire.
Hey, the bed's moving.
Put yourfeet on the floor, it'll stop.
Like this.
- Both of them? - Yeah.
- This fucking thing's still moving. - It'll get better.
It's making me dizzy.
I need an interval.
An interval?
Girl, this ain'tno stage play.
I mean it, move over. Let's go to sleep.
We'll get some sleep...
then we wake up and have breakfast.
Don't worry. Take your clothes off and I'll do the rest.
I'm serious, buddy. Move back a little.
Buddy, my ass.
Come on, girl.
- Does he know anything? - No.
That's why he's been so emotional.
I think he's been sensing something.
I don't want you to tell him, please.
I'm sorry.
This used to be an art-house cinema, remember?
Now it's abandoned.
That overthere was a big store.
Then it became several smaller stores.
And afterthat it was turned into a church of the Newsomething or other...
and now it's a Chinese barbecue.
Look at the state of the place.
This is downtown Recife.
Let's pass by the house we lived in when you were little?
I hear voices.
Speaking into my ear the whole time.
I don't even know what I think, I don't even know what I do.
I've been really anxious since I was a kid...
but it just kept getting worse and worse...
and now I've lost all control.
Look, doctor, I've got this insomnia...
because I'm a magnet, you see.
A magnet that attracts all kind of energies: good and bad.
I can't sleep anymore, not a wink.
I only sleep when I drink. I feel cured when I drink.
And what does your family say? Do they say you are different?
That I'm crazy.
They don't say I'm different, they say I'm crazy.
Patient Veronica.
Not knowing what to do about my father's illness.
Not knowing what to do...
about this feeling of loss invading my soul.
The sea.
My great and true distraction.
Me, the sea...
and this horizon.
Tepid sea...
warming my belly button.
Warm sea...
dissolving my inner thoughts.
I understand it's not your responsibility, but I've phoned...
the building's administrator fourtimes...
to complain about this leak and no one gives a damn.
And now I get this punch.
How could they let the situation get to this stage?
All the apartments are having leaks.
The engineers said the problem comes from a failure in the foundation.
They recommend relocating while the work is done.
What the fuck! And where are we supposed to go?
Please could you sign in this memo.
The administrator's coming over.
They're going to temporarily relocate the tenants to another building.
For how long?
They mentioned it will take a while.
Maybe one ortwo years.
That's it.
What did the doctor say?
That I should make the most of his company.
I think he feels it's getting worse.
Because of the disease he keeps asking me if I'm seeing someone.
Well, I get that every day at home.
I have no energy to pack things up.
I can help with that. We could...
We could call Ciça, buy some beer...
put on some music. You'll cheer up in no time.
I should become his girlfriend, shouldn't l?
It would make my father happy.
Whom? Gustavo?
Girl, doesn't he have a younger brotherfor me?
He's a bit old, isn't he?
I wish I could be a hopeless romantic like you.
Don't. You don't know how much I sufferfor being a romantic.
The last time I fell for someone...
I trembled so much I had to say I was cold, just to hide it.
I was sweating and bright red. Uncontrollable.
Maybe if I knew myself better I'd have fewer doubts...
about my future, my work... the life I'm going to lead.
I don't know if I want to stay here, or go away, or become a doctor.
I've even thought about becoming a singer.
That's a good one.
Can you sing at least?
Give it here.
And what if I don't want to?
I'll take it.
Let's make a deal?
What?
If my father asks you if we're going out, you say yes.
- And? - That's it.
That's it?
So we'd better rehearse being a couple.
- Rehearse? - Yeah.
I'll start.
My love.
I love you.
You are the light of my life...
and I can't live without you.
This is not going to work. I don't know howto do this.
You suck.
You really suck.
I love you.
Well? Better?
My dad's not going to believe anything.
How come?
"l love you" everyone believes.
You need more practice.
More practice?
Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?
What happened?
The painin my leg got much worse.
He's now officially my boyfriend.
- Gustavo? - Who else?
Who knows?
I chose this song foryou, my dear.
Good morning, doctor.
- Good morning, how are you? - I have an appointment with you.
Good!
Hi, how are you?
Did you visit the hospital pharmacy?
- No. - They'll have it there.
- All right? - All right.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
Good morning. What's your name?
José.
- Everything ok, José? - No. Everything's terrible.
Take a seat, please.
No, I won't sit.
No?
I'm fine like this.
Just standing there, José?
I only came here to get a prescription saying...
I have to do a treadmill test.
- You can't sit down because of it? - No, I can't sit down.
- Should I stand with you then? - As you wish.
Mr. José, why do you want to do a treadmill test so bad?
My heart's giving out. Of course.
No, your heart is not giving out.
When a heart is about to give out, the person doesn't speak.
What's the problem?
Can't a doctor ever help, for God's sake?
Just write me up for a treadmill test and that's it. Come on.
Do you know I hate doctors?
That makes two of us, José. I hate doctors too.
Especially doctors like you.
Doctors who aren't even real doctors yet...
who are too young, but who go on pretending like they are.
Mr. José, you seem a little angry.
- I think you'd better sit down. - I already said I'm not going to sit.
Just to look at you and you'd know that you're no doctor.
With a face like that?
You're an intern or something, aren't you?
You must be one of those interns pretending they're doctors.
Fine, I'm going to sit down.
When you decide to sit down too we can start the session.
It's all standardized.
In our hearts.
Our way of loving.
Doesn't seem to be ours.
It's all standardized.
In our hearts.
Our way of loving.
Doesn't seem to be ours
I think we can start the session now.
- It's José what? - Ferreira da Silva.
- Age, José? - 45.
- Married? - Single.
You may come in.
This is the apartment that fulfills all your budget requirements.
It has two bedrooms, living room, kitchen and one bathroom.
I'm trying to stay calm, Dr. Francisco. Really, I'm trying.
What hospital are you in now?
Yes, I know where it is. You'll wait for me at the door, right?
I'm on my way. I'm coming.
Dad, we're going to the hospital. All right?
Dr. Francisco is waiting for us. Come on, let's go.
Put your arm around me.
I, patient Veronica...
needing help.
What do I care about your affection.
If it's too late to love you.
What do I care if you adore me.
If there's no more reason To want you.
What do I care to see you Suffering like this.
If when I wanted you.
You didn't even know How to give.
Love.
What do I care If I see you crying now.
If so many times I cried as well.
What do I care If your voice is calling me
Gustavo, go to sleep.
We have to get up early tomorrow.
What do I care If there's sorrow in your eyes.
Has this happened before?
Yes.
But not like this.
It was never like this.
I can't do anything.
I haven't had the strength to do anything.
I sleep all day and...
the sleepiness never goes away.
It's...
I haven't seen my boyfriend in about two weeks.
And I don't want to.
I don't know where this comes from.
I am so tired.
Really, so tired.
I have no will to do anything at all.
I don't want to do anything.
Not even the things I most enjoy.
Doctor, I keep thinking to myself...
that I have it all:
a loving family, a boyfriend who's nice...
ajob that I like, a university course that I enjoy.
I have no reason to be like this. Why do I get like this?
If only there was a reason.
And having no reasonjust makes it worse, you understand?
I know how it is.
I swear I know exactly how it is. It's there and you don't know why.
And you can't handle things alone.
You have to get help.
It's right here.
Thank you.
Never mind.
Honey...
just look at that sun.
- I'm feeling much better. - Lie down, dad.
Why don't you go to the beach?
I don't want to. I'm going to stay and look afteryou.
You can't. It's a waste of life.
We all waste our lives as we choose.
Get some sleep.
Do this for me.
I'll call if I need you.
Patient myself, feeling uneasy.
With my mind spinning around...
going from one place to another relentlessly.
Myself, thinking about this uneasiness.
Excuse me. Good morning, how are you?
Good morning.
Good morning, Mrs. Carmem.
- What's with this crowd of people? - You're a hit with the patients.
- Are these my records? - Just today's.
Even this man would like to talk to you, he has some free samples.
- How are you? - How's it going?
Can I send in the first patient?
Otherwise, we won't leave today.
That night you lost me.
Your eyes didn't follow mine.
Neither your sheets.
Nor your voice.
Open your wings to my charms.
Say there's still room for me In your plans.
In your sheets.
In your voice
I can still read minds, you know?
You are worried about your professional life.
You're wondering if you're going to marry and have kids.
- You're wrong. - Are you thinking about Gustavo?
I'm thinking about thejoy of being here at home with you.
The only joy I have right now.
- Why are you so sad, love? - I think I have a heart of stone.
Noone's perfect, honey.
You're a perfect father.
You smell like a perfect father.
A perfect father.
Come in.
- Did you ask for me Dr. Roberto? - Yes.
Is there a problem?
A private clinic asked me to recommend a staff doctor...
and I recommended you.
Thanks forthe recommendation.
But wouldn't it be too much responsibility for me?
From here on, responsibility just mounts.
Is the workload too heavy?
You'll get used to it.
It is well paid.
I'm not sure. I'll have to think about it.
I'll give you a week. Think about it and let me know.
All right.
So how is that marvelous man you call dad?
I don't want to talk about that.
So let's change the subject.
Let's talk about something really serious.
Let's talk about carnival.
- Carnival is serious? - Carnival is most serious.
Especially since this is the last yearwe'll be spending it together.
And my first carnival with a boyfriend.
- I just can't believe that, Veronica. - Me neither.
I wanted to.
Veronica!
How can you handle a man on your back the entire carnival?
- Veronica! - Shush, he's here.
- Is the match over? - Yeah.
There's nothing more boring than tennis.
- It's tough, you'll see. - Give me a kiss.
- Let's go sit on the sand. - Sure.
Life falling over me.
Be welcome.
On this gentle afternoon.
That pays no attention to me.
Death that suits well.
Come to me now While
I am not paying attention.
This golden afternoon That brings.
Joy to ordinary people.
Doesn't fool me anymore.
This afternoon that warms my belly Beneath my black shirt.
And my belly button.
Wrapped in this warmth Playing dead.
It feels nothing.
Just emptiness.
Dear Recorder...
there is something I need to tell you.
I got fed up.
I got fed up of suffering.
I, Veronica...
trying to dream more about life.
It's going to take months to put these records in alphabetical order.
Cranky.
Look, I have two bits of news. One's good...
the other's bad.
Give me the bad news first, I'm used to it.
I'm not going to marry Gustavo.
I told you to start with the bad news.
If that's what's best foryou, it's best for me too.
Sorry if I deceived you.
There's a time for each type ofjoy.
Nowthe good news.
I've accepted an offerto work at the private hospital.
As I'm going to be well paid, I decided to give you a present.
I'm going to take a shower and then we'll go out.
It's ours now. Ours.
I, Veronica, patient of myself...
trying to think about life in another way.
Thinking about life.
Life as it were a film.
Once upon a time...
a film that would start deep inside my head...
and would reveal a whole different world.
A world with a happy-ending.
My own kind of happy-ending.
Life falling over me.
Be welcome.
On this gentle afternoon That pays no attention to me.
Death that suits well.
Come to me now.
While I am not paying attention.
This golden afternoon That brings.
Joy to ordinary people.
Doesn't fool me anymore.
This afternoon that warms my belly.
Beneath my black shirt.
And my belly button.
Wrapped in this warmth playing dead.
ONCE UPON TIME WAS I, VERÔNICA. It feels nothing.
Just emptiness.